good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
