And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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