i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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