Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Randomize
