And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
