your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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