Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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