I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
