I wanna bring you to show and tell
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
