you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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