Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
