I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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