I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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