This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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