I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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