Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
