Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
