I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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