why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
