I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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