from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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