Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
