is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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