I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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