I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
