I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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