The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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