I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
