somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
