Soap is not a condiment
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
