Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
