she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
