I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
