She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
