Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
