is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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