The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
