i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
