OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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