Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
