Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
