Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
