So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
