he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
