omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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