have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
