I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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