If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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