i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
