You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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