guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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