Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
