i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
