Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
